It’s never easy to hear one of my clients or class participants say that they are not good enough, kind enough, attractive enough, fun enough, smart enough, or worthy of love, joy, abundance, or any good things in life. I can feel the pain as they speak this, largely because I have been there myself.
I used to have all of these stories in my head about why I was flawed, why I would never be, do, or have what I desired, why nobody would ever truly love me or care about me, and why I would never “succeed” in life.
But one day, I had a realization… a great epiphany that changed my whole life- the insight that I was not my thoughts, that I was something greater than that, and that all the methods I’d used to measure my worthiness were flawed. In other words, it wasn’t me who was flawed, it was my thinking.
To believe I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough, was purely one perspective, the perspective I had chosen for many years. But I saw that there were other perspectives available to me- that I could in fact, change how I saw myself and thus change the way I felt about myself, the way I behaved, and ultimately the way I lived my life.
I had no idea that up until that point, I had been my own worst enemy. I used to pity myself, I used to feel like a victim- like I couldn’t do anything right, that there was something inherently wrong with me, and that there was nothing I could do to change it. But it did change- it all changed… and it all started with the way I viewed myself.
I realized that I didn’t need to be “perfect”- and what was “perfect” anyway? I realized that I was more than my appearance, there was something deeper in me than that. I realized that although I didn’t know everything and had certain subjects I wasn’t as skilled in, I was intelligent in many areas, and I could build on that intelligence. Most importantly, I saw clearly that for no reason at all other than the fact that I was here in this life form- that I was inherently worthy and deserving of love, happiness, and all the good life had to offer.
I cannot begin to tell you how much those seemingly simple revelations changed the way I felt and changed my life for the better. Rather than berating myself, focusing on my perceived flaws, engaging in unhealthy behaviors, and sabotaging myself in numerous ways, I began to speak kindly to and about myself, focus on my beauty, talents, and gifts, and adopt behaviors that supported me in my health and happiness. I no longer convinced myself why I couldn’t be who I wanted to be, why I couldn’t do what I wanted to do, or have what I wanted to have.
Man, it’s liberating to let go of those old, crummy beliefs that limit us and make us feel like crap. It took some time to really let some of those beliefs go, especially the ones that had been lingering for years.. but I have chipped away at them bit by bit, and over time, they have become much fewer and have had far less impact on me and my life.
Over the years I have met and assisted many others who have also broken free from their own self-limiting and negative beliefs. I am convinced that anyone who desires to change their life is capable of doing the same. It’s a process and there’s no cut and dry method or formula that works for every person, but if you hold the desire to change your life, open yourself to try new things, and are willing to go within yourself, you WILL move forward in your life. The gains you make may not look huge overnight, and that’s okay. Small, consistent changes in ourselves and our lives are what we’re going for here- the little shifts in our perspective and our behavior are going to be what makes the BIG difference for us over the long-term.
Be willing to change and commit to begin changing your perspective and your life TODAY. Today is the perfect day to start- do not keep waiting until some future day when “everything falls into place,” or when you finally “get the relationship/job/butt/etc. you need to be happy.” No, happiness is a decision and a perspective that comes from WITHIN YOU. And happiness is also a gift that we can choose to give to ourselves.
Give yourself the greatest gift that you can and make a commitment to change the way you see yourself- focus on your beauty, talents, and strengths rather than on your perceived flaws and weaknesses. And watch how your feelings begin to shift for the better along with the quality of your life. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Would you like support in creating a more positive view of yourself, in loving yourself to a life filled with greater Purpose, Passion, and Joy?
I would love to offer my support to you through your process. Click to learn about my Coaching Program or to set up a Free “Live with Passion, Purpose, and Joy” Consultation.
Here’s to greater self-love!